Duo and Frozen Chocolate
by The Celestial Tiger
Summary: Complete! What happens when Duo reveals a love for frozen chocolate to Hilde? But it's not just any frozen chocolate. It's been lurking in the freezer for months! It's a situation peculiar enough to encite laughter. Enjoy!
1. Duo and Frozen Chocolate

**The Celestial Tiger's Notes: **I wrote this because I love frozen chocolate and my passion for it is usually met with skepticism and sometimes aversion. I thought that projecting this little quirk onto Duo would make for an amusing short story.

* * *

**Duo and Frozen Chocolate**

It was a rather boring morning. It was Saturday and not much was happening. Hilde was sitting at the small round table in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee and reading a magazine. Even though she and Duo did business on Saturdays, they usually didn't open until about 1 p.m. This gave Duo the leisurely mornings he demanded on the weekends.

Hilde picked up a half of a bagel smeared with cream cheese and was just about to bite into it when Duo suddenly rounded the corner into the kitchen and shouted, "GOOD MORNING!" in his usual boisterous manner. The problem was that Hilde had fully expected him to still be in bed and was therefore not prepared for his overzealous tidings.

She shrieked and jumped about two feet out of her chair, the bagel leaping out of her hand and landing cream-side down onto the floor. "Damn it, Duo!" she griped loudly, turning to face him. "Not only did you just scare five years off of my life, but you made me drop my breakfast!"

Duo smiled innocently and batted his eyes. "I'm sowwy, Hildeee," he drawled, making his voice sound like a child's.

Hilde rolled her eyes and sighed. "You dork. What are you doing up this early on a Saturday anyway?"

Duo plopped down in the chair across from her and grinned. "I dunno. I just felt like getting up." Then he made a goofy face at her. "Sorry, you'll have to put up with me all day today!"

Hilde gave him a wry look in return. "Damn…and I was looking forward to peace until noontime."

Duo laughed jovially and stretched loudly. "Well! Think I'll eat breakfast!"

Hilde looked at him pointedly. "We don't have anything. You've already eaten all of your sugar-saturated cereals and that splort on the floor, which I expect you to clean up by the way, was the last of the bagels."

Duo looked over at the face-down bagel half. "Why should I have to clean it up?"

"Because **_you _**were the one who scared the hell out of me and made me drop it! And since it **_was _**the last of the bagels, that also means that **_you_** robbed me of my breakfast! I think cleaning it is the least you can do!"

Duo grinned cutely and put up his hands as if a gun were pointed at him. "Ok! You win, babe!" He shuffled out of his chair and cleaned up the mess while Hilde kept a watchful eye on him to make sure that he didn't do a half-assed job.

When he was finished, Duo washed his hands and then walked over to the refrigerator. Hilde watched him and shook her head. "I told you…there's nothing in there. No pizza, no lunch meats, and no hot wings…though I have no idea how you can eat that stuff in the morning anyway."

Duo cast a grin back over his shoulder at her. "No worries. I'm not going into the fridge." He then opened the freezer half and began rummaging through one of the drawers.

Hilde watched him partly in curiosity and partly in trepidation. She couldn't even begin to imagine what could possibly be in the freezer that would still be edible. They hadn't cleaned it out in a **_long_** time.

After a moment, Duo emerged with a pastel pink and green rectangular box. "Ah! I knew I still had some of this left!" he proclaimed triumphantly.

Hilde's eyes widened in horror as she realized what it was. "Duo! That's…that's…your chocolate bunny…from Easter! It's **_September_**!"

Duo plopped back down in his chair and opened the box. "Yeah…I know! Chocolate never goes bad!"

Hilde had a stunned look on her face which shifted to disgust as Duo pulled out a half-eaten chocolate rabbit. "That's gross, Duo. That's just gross."

Duo examined his prize for a moment. "Naw, it's still fine! Hey, you want some? I'll share!"

"NO!" Hilde exclaimed without hesitation.

"Suit yourself," Duo shrugged and with that, he began to gnaw on a corner of the chocolate. Now, this wasn't one of those hollow chocolate bunnies. This was solid milk chocolate, at least three-quarters of an inch think.

Hilde's eyebrows scrunched as she stared at him incredulously. "You're eating it **_frozen_**?" she sputtered in disbelief.

"O'course," Duo muttered from around the chocolate. "Ich good dis way." He gnawed first this way and then that way, trying to get the chocolate gooey enough to come loose. He pulled it back for a moment to inspect his progress. There were dozens of teeth marks embedded into the chocolate but it didn't look like it was quite compromised enough to break off.

Hilde's lip curled up in revulsion. "Oh god, you're going to make me sick."

Duo grinned at her, his teeth brown with chocolate. "I'm not forcing you to sit there." He then resumed working on the corner of the bunny. He gnawed more ferociously until he was finally rewarded with the telltale **_CRACK_**.

Hilde gasped. "Was that a tooth?" she asked, cringing.

Duo was chewing, however, each bite down producing a smaller crunch. "Nope," he said simply and then he swallowed. "Just the resounding crack signaling my defeat of the frozen chocolate adversary."

"That can't be good for your teeth! How can you stand that?" Hilde questioned in horror.

"It's great!" replied an undaunted Duo. He then began to work on his next bite.

"I swear, Duo!" Hilde fussed. "You look like a little kid!"

"So?" was his unconcerned reply. **_CRACK!_** "Ha ha! Victowy id mine!" he mumbled as he rolled a large lump of chocolate around in his mouth.

Hilde covered her face with her hands. "Geez, Duo. Just….geez…"

Duo continued in this manner until he had finished the rest of the bunny. By this time, his hands and the perimeter of his mouth were covered in chocolate. He moistened a paper towel and cleaned himself up. His teeth were tingling and the corners of his mouth were red and irritated from all of the sideways gnawing, but he looked happy as a clam.

"That was a great breakfast!" he announced contentedly.

Hilde groaned. She didn't know why she had sat there the whole time. "Great," she grumbled. "Now you'll be on a sugar high for the rest of the day."

Duo winked at her. "Yeah…chocolate makes me frisky. Better watch out! Heh heh!"

Hilde shot him a warning glare. "You toucha my ass, I breaka you face!"

Duo laughed aloud at that and then stood. "Who said I was after your ass?" he said, smiling darkly. When Hilde gave the desired response of stunned silence, Duo's evil smile instantly transformed to his classic cheerful expression and he began to whistle innocently as he walked off. He was stuffed full enough of chocolate and mischief to make the day very interesting.


	2. The Consequences of Frozen Chocolate

**The Celestial Tiger's Notes: **Even though this was originally to be a one-shot,several people expressed interest in a second chapter so I wrote one. This is most definitely the end, though.

* * *

**The Consequences of Frozen Chocolate**

Duo whistled merrily as he showered, switching to singing deliberately off-key after a few minutes. He kept getting louder and more obnoxious until Hilde pounded on the bathroom door and yelled at him to shut up. Having once again achieved the desired response, he went back to whistling happily. This was going to be a fun day!

Once out of the shower, Duo got dressed and then plopped down on his bed, folding his arms under his head as he lay there staring up at the ceiling and contemplating how to make the most out of his chocolate buzz. Just then a rustle of movement in his doorway made him raise his head to look.

Hilde stood there shaking her head at him. "Duo…we've got stuff to do before we open today," she reminded him.

"Eh…let's not work today," Duo replied frivolously, suddenly springing up into a sitting position. "Let's have some fun!"

Hilde gave him an admonishing look. "We can't just blow off work. We have three customers who contacted us in advance about picking up parts today."

Duo waved his hand dismissively. "Already taken care of. I called them earlier and said I'd ship the parts at no extra cost. I get a huge shipping discount so it's no big deal and they get the convenience of not having to come down to get them. All three went for it. We're clear."

Hilde pressed her forehead up against the doorjamb and closed her eyes in frustration. "You're incorrigible…" she muttered.

"Thank you!" Duo responded brightly. Then he offered her a reassuring smile. "Oh, come on, Hilde…we did great last month. One Saturday of being closed won't break us. Please, Hilde…it's just a half-day. Come on…" Duo gave her the best puppy face that he could muster.

Hilde peered at him sideways as if considering what he was saying. "Oh…ok..." she finally relented. "But on one condition."

"Name it!" Duo said excitedly through a giant grin.

"Before we doing anything else, we have to sit down and finish going through the figures from last week." Duo made a face at this and she gave him a stern look. "Those are my terms. Take 'em or leave 'em, buddy."

Duo sighed and then his grin reappeared. "Ok, doll! It's a deal!"

Hilde narrowed her eyes at him. "And don't call me doll."

"Ha ha! That wasn't one of the terms of our agreement!" Duo countered as he sprang up off of the bed and approached her. He closed the gap between them until he was practically in her face. "Doll, doll, doll," he said in a low, teasing voice. He then dodged the hand that tried to hit him in retaliation and scampered out of the door and away, laughing as Hilde gave chase.

She chased him all over the house, her agitated expression giving way to amusement as it became a game. Eventually, they were both laughing, running and dodging their way through the halls and rooms, jumping over furniture and weaving in and out of any obstacles.

"I'll get you eventually!" Hilde yelled breathlessly and then she made a lunging attempt to tackle Duo. Duo evaded her, however, and she fell to the floor, instantly rolling back up onto her feet and continuing her pursuit. If anyone had been present to observe this spectacle, they would have found it very funny to watch two military-trained people playing like little kids.

After a couple more minutes of this, both of them were getting very winded. Hilde knew that she would wear out before Duo did though, so she decided to enlist the some help. When they ran through the den again, she slowed deliberately to let Duo run out of the room and then she quickly grabbed one the couch back cushions and tossed it right in the running path, just at a spot where Duo wouldn't notice it until it was too late. She wasted no time in resuming her chase so that he wouldn't suspect anything.

When she rounded the doorway out of the den, she found that Duo had slowed to let her catch up. "Whatsa matter?" he panted through a grin. "Gettin' too tired to keep up?" He picked his pace back up though, when he realized that Hilde had put on a new burst of speed and was gaining on him quickly.

"You wish!" she huffed as she poured every last ounce of energy into increasing the speed of the chase to a frenzy. They made their rounds again and just as she felt like her lungs were about to collapse, they made their way back into the den. Duo dodged the chair and lamp with cocky flair but as soon as he rounded the corner of the couch, his foot found the cushion booby trap.

"AAAHHH! OOF!" He fell face first to the floor, his lower half sprawled over the cushion so that his behind stuck up farther than his head and torso. He lay there breathless, a little stunned to find himself planted into the carpet when he was running like a maniac just a second ago. Then, suddenly, he felt a hard slap on his backside.

"Gotcha!" Hilde wheezed triumphantly. She was practically doubled over from being tired and out of breath, but she looked thoroughly self-satisfied.

"Foul play!" Duo cried. "You cheated!" pant "And you smacked…" pant "…my ass…" pant "…after you made that big deal…" pant "…about me not touching yours!" pant "That's it!" pant "All bets are off!" He suddenly reached and grabbed her arm, pulling her off of her already shaky legs onto the floor with him.

Hilde gasped as she went down but gasped even louder as Duo began to tickle her. "Hahahaha! No! NO! Hahaha! No, Duo! Hahahahahaha! Cut it out! Hahahahahahaha! I can't breathe! Hahahahahahahahaaa!" She hadn't caught her breath from the chase and she didn't have any air left to handle being tickled. What was worse was that she was too tired to even put up a decent struggle, so all she could do was lay there and squirm ineffectually, her laughter choked and hollow from lack of air.

Duo saw that her face was turning purple and he finally stopped. He was still winded as well, as the relentless tickling hadn't given him the chance to catch his breath either. Both of them lay there gasping air for a minute until Duo finally found the lung capacity to chuckle.

It wasn't until he did this that the two of them finally realized the position they were in. Hilde was on her back, Duo partly draped over her from the right, his body pressed against hers very snugly. Suddenly, things felt very awkward. The two of them teased each other and made little sexual innuendoes all of the time, but it was all play. This bordered on intimate, however, with both of them staring intensely at one other.

Then Duo started to slowly lower his face toward Hilde's, his eyes no longer large and sparkling with his usual jovial and even childish twinkle. They were now dark, hinting at a maturity of intent that Hilde had never imagined possible. After all, they were just friends, right? That's what they'd agreed on when they started this arrangement, after all. But Duo now appeared to be changing the terms of that agreement as well. When he said all bets were off, she didn't know he meant **_everything!_**

Hilde's eyes widened. Her heart had just stopped pounding from exertion, but now it began to pound again. She'd be deceiving herself if she denied having an underlying crush on Duo. What girl wouldn't? He was hot! But this was so sudden! He'd given her no prior indication that he was **_that_** attracted to her. But now he was about to kiss her! His eyes were filled with everything that would make a woman melt.

All she could do was stare at his face as it drew closer to hers. Her heart was fluttering. This would completely change their relationship forever. Were they ready to make a leap like that? As many doubts and questions as she had rolling around in her head, she couldn't bring herself to stop it. The prospect of kissing Duo was too enticing so she waited breathlessly for his lips to meet hers.

Just as he got there, however, he detoured to the side, lowering his mouth to her right ear. "Hilde…" he whispered in a tone that sent shivers up and down her spine. His cheek was warm against hers and she felt the resonance of his lust-deepened voice. His breath cascaded over her ear and drove her insane with anticipation. "I want…" he uttered huskily, pausing torturously so that she held her breath. "…more chocolate."

The atmosphere around them shattered like a glass window. Hilde's brain completely froze as she tried to process the sudden change in the situation. It was like hitting a brick wall. She was snapped back to reality by the sound of Duo's laughter. He had rolled off of her and was now on his back, laughing his head off.

Hilde's face contorted to anger and she punched him in the arm. "You…**_jerk!_**" she yelled, embarrassed that she'd let him play her like that. "You total and utter brat!" She should have expected something like that from him…especially since he was under the influence of candy.

Her rants only made Duo laugh harder. "You shoulda seen your face! Hahahahahahaha! I wish I had a camera! Hahahahahahahaha!"

Hilde tightened her lips indignantly. "That was cruel, Duo!" She shoved him as hard as she could, which only seemed to amuse him more.

His laughter turned into fits of giggling for a moment until he looked over to see the ice daggers Hilde was shooting at him."Sorry!" he finally chuckled out. "I'm sorry, Hilde! Hehhehhehheh."

"Duo…" Hilde started, her tone suddenly serious if not a bit reticent. Duo quit chuckling and looked at her. She cleared her throat, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Would you have really…um…you know…I mean…do you think that I'm…that is…do you find me…oh, never mind…" she finally sighed.

Duo's expression suddenly softened as he realized what she was asking. It hadn't occurred to him that it would matter that much to her. "Yeah…I would," he said with a meaningful smile. "If you wanted me to." After a moment, his smile deepened, his eyes regaining some of that dark quality from before. "So…do you want me to?"

Hilde gazed into his eyes for a moment and then smiled impishly. She then got up from the floor and began to walk out of the room. "Come on…" she said seductively.

Duo sprang up, beginning to follow her. "Ooo…where are we going?" he asked mischievously.

Hilde looked back over her shoulder and smirked. "To do the finances," she said with the delight of revenge in her tone.

Duo visibly deflated. "AWW! No fair, doll!" he pouted.

"You promised…" Hilde reminded him, continuing to walk toward the doorway. "…and I'm holding you to it if you want to take the day off. Also, when we're done, we're going out and you're going to buy me lunch since you robbed me of my breakfast this morning." Just as she got to the doorway, she turned and gave him a victorious look. "Oh…and don't call me doll."

* * *

**Additional Notes: **Sorry if this sounded tacked on and extraneous. It was just for extra cuteness. I like to play with character banter and these two hold endless possibilities. I'm also sorry if you were expecting something a little heavier in the romance department. It didn't seem appropriate for the lightheartedness of this little story. I ended it there on purpose. I wanted to leave it open to imagination. 


End file.
